Good Learning - Good Laughs - Good Music

Good day today. We all need days like these to remind us that fun and good tidings are still to be had. Monday nights I'm glued to CBS from 7:00 to 8:30. And all three shows provided fuel for a good and hearty laugh. That's rare. I enjoy all the shows very much, but its rare that all 3 give me a good satisfying, midriff clenching, couch-bouncing, head-rearing guffaw! Yeah... that kind of laugh!
I'm not gonna bother to look right now, but I have little doubt that scenes will be on you tube shortly.

The good laugh followed an afternoon of learning. Yup... I'm on holiday and I'm doing educational stuff. Well, actually, I stayed in doing educational stuff. But it was mixed with entertainment. So it still counts as a holiday-related activity.... doesn't it?
You shouldn't be too surprised anyway. After all, I'm the guy that had a day to kill in Manhattan and takes a guided tour of the NY Public Library! Yeah.... that's me. I have a day to blow in the Big Apple (where did that name come from anyway?) and I go to the freakin' library! Those who know me best are smiling and nodding right about now.

So, on with today...

This morning I woke feeling rested. I had forgotten what that feels like. Don't get me wrong... I don't have trouble sleeping. I just have a busy mind and my thoughts usually involve what I have to do tomorrow. And I've been having some memorable dreams too. (Blanca.... close your eyes for a second!) I'm trying really hard to avoid analyzing them right now, but suffice it to say there is a recurring character of the female persuasion starring in them right now. Her role has been a bit lascivious in nature.
(Ok you can open them again) :-)

Ok... back to the smart-making stuff.

Last week in school I was teaching my classes about the Lewis & Clark and the Corps of Discovery as well as the search for the Northwest Passage. This actually hearkens back to an entry I made some time ago when I was discussing favorites... and one of my favorite shows of all time is "Due South". Well, that show is what introduced me to the Northwest Passage in the first place. Its such an intriguing piece of history. As I was preparing my lessons I came across a Discovery program called "Search for the Northwest Passage". I didn't find it for sale anywhere, in video format or for download. But I did find it on You Tube. Go figure. So I watched it today. Of course its cut into nine or ten 10 minute segments. Absolutely unimaginable. Therein lies the potential for a great tragedy of epic proportions. With the right writers and people, this story could be told on the scale of James Cameron's "Titanic".

So that was the learning part. I took lots of notes. I have more homework to do on that subject, but I'm in no hurry. I need to find a book written by the guy that actually was the 1st one through the passage. It was Roald Amundsen, in case you're curious. How cool would it be use his own words in describing what actually transpired! Think about it... from whom would you rather hear a story: From a guy sitting behind a desk 6,000 miles away, or from someone on the ground when bombs were falling over Dresden in 1945? So the next time I teach this, I'll have a way cooler presentation!

As far as the good music part.... I spent some time digging through my music and came across some goodies. I'm putting together a nice travel compilation for my upcoming trip. Which brings me to now.

I'm in my garage smoking a cigar & I'm writing this as I periodically peer over my right shoulder at the unorganized mess of camping gear strewn about the floor. Soon I'll be sifting through the equipment & sundries for my upcoming return to the Renaissance Festival this weekend.
I have my list and I'll be checking it thrice.

So, my frinds, I leave you with that. Its been a good day. Good learning, good laughs, and good music!
Don't forget to smile. :-)

Be well.

movie - boom-boom - movie - movie

Its amazing how quickly the weeks are passing these days! Its already Sunday and seems like I just posted the previous entry yesterday. Another great yesterday!
The day started with conditioning practice for our wrestlers. We were at Cole Park again. Its about the only place south of San Antonio with something resembling a hill.

I was on a tight schedule. I had some errands to run and a lot of cleaning to get done. My mother was coming to visit and I had to get her "room" ready and clean up the dusty spare bathroom. But before her, I had another buddy coming for a special event on Saturday night.

Richard showed up around 3:30 or so. I had some last minute tidying up to do before we departed for Lilo's place. We were heading into an all night LOTR movie marathon. If you don't know what LOTR means then you don't really know me :-)

But I must confess.... I didn't sit through the whole marathon. About 2 hours into it I went down to Tango Tea Room for a drum circle. This one was as good as the last one. Lots of new dancing faces.... well, new to me anyway. There was only one belly dancer that I recognized from a couple months ago. There were about 6 girls dancing off and on. One of them was pretty good, as far as I can tell, anyway. I wouldn't know good belly dancing from mediocre. It was a full house with them dancing and about 10 drummers! What a blast!

Last month I took my newest drum (at the time). Some of the wind was let out of my sails when there were two others with exactly the same drum. So yesterday I took my oldest drum. Its an original. Its a hand made goat skin djembe. So I knew that no one would have the same one. It plays at a lower tone. I don't play very well anyway, but this drum makes it even harder for me to get varying degrees of timbre. Oh well. But the event was so much fun. I felt bad for leaving the marathon, esp. after I was so eager to do it. But in my defense I did not realize there would be a drum circle on the same night until the day before.

After the drum circle I returned to the marathon with the second movie just getting started. John & Brenda showed up and so I lost my comfy spot :-(. Oh well. The price I pay for leaving.
But it was no less cool! By about 6:00AM we wrapped things up and Richard & I left. I would have preferred to have stayed. I finally got comfortable. But the hostess evicted us :-)
Its all good!

So as I arrived back home, Richard went to sleep and I proceeded to doing some chores. Nothing special.... the usual stuff.... dishes, a load of laundry.... that sort of thing. Then around 9:00 I finally made it to bed. That was this morning, mind you. When you do all-nighters, the days really run together. I was able to get a bout 3 or 4 hours of sleep in before I gave up and just got up. Back to the chores.

So around 4:00 my mom comes rolling in with her car full of stuff for a garage sale. Go figure... I sweat and struggle to load all that stuff into a big ass truck and haul it North Carolina not 6 months ago only for her to drag half of it back here for a garage sale. Moms. What are you gonna do?

Anyway, so now my eyelids are getting heavy. I tried to start reading this book Lilo gave me to read, but after reading the first paragraph 4 times and still not remembering anything, I decided to screw it and just play on the computer for a little while. Maybe tomorrow.

Be well!

Do I really need a sign?

Ok... so I'm posting again... but think of this as a misplaced Saturday post. I was supposed to write this then, but... I... uh.... forgot.

Better late than never (except for cancer, maybe?)

Ok.... here's the issue:

Going back to the idiocy thing... another argument was recently made lending more (apparently) credible evidence that I might actually be an idiot.

Allow me to explain....

John & I had such a good time on Friday that I wanted to extend the fun. Since I was going to be in that part of town anyway on Saturday, I suggested that we have lunch. He was cool with that. I invited another friend along but she was out house hunting.

Not surprisingly, John & I were talking about the night before. And the issue of my apparent blindness to the subtle cues of feminine coyness was broached. John contended that a woman was flirting with me at the concert. My facial expression, which consisted of the standard furrowed eyebrow and the slightly dropped jaw, suggested my forthcoming quizzical response, "What are you talking about?"
John proceeded to outline the behaviors suggesting the aforementioned flirting. Once again, my response was, "What!? She asked me for a light! How is that flirting?"
So I still don't know what he saw. Ok, that was Friday.

Then on Saturday... we were at the restaurant. The hostess had a fold in her collar. So I fixed it for her. She said, "Thank you." End of story.
Ok... so once again... Obe John Kenobe sees this interaction as flirting. Once again, "What!?"
He said he was observing her reactions to me and her responses. Ok... maybe his years of nursing help him notice differences in pupil dilation, respiration rate, or skin sheen.... but what the hell was he talking about?

So anyway... it makes me wonder if I need a sign or something. He isn't the first person to tell me that I'm being flirted with. And here I was going through life thinking I had a pretty good handle on human behavior. (other peoples' behavior)

It would help explain why I have been accused of being stand-offish when I meet new people, esp. women. I suppose if I was trying to flirt w/ someone and got no response, I might think that. So I'm (begrudgingly) having to admit that MAYBE there is something to the "I'm an idiot!" theory. This has come up a few times in recent weeks. And the creepy part is that this has been discussed by a few people. Hmmm.

Ok, maybe I do need a sign.

After all, it helped Sheldon....





Be well

Boy am I glad he called!

On Thursday I got a call from a buddy of mine.  He wanted someone to go the Dropkick Murphys  concert Friday night.  All he had to say it was Celtic/punk and I was in!  I had honestly never heard of them before.  Boy am I glad he called!!!

What a blast!  I wasn't sure what to expect so I planned to dress conservatively.  Normally I would don my kilt to such an event, but I had never been to Concrete Street Amphitheater before so I didn't know the layout.  I had my kilt in the car, but decided against it since it has no pockets and I failed to bring a purse.  (man-purse, by the way!  More of a leather pouch really.)  

Anyway.... John talked me into it and loaned me one of his Utilikilts (they have pockets).  Good thing too, the environment was quite conducive to kilt donning!  All standing, no nasty, wet, or dirty seats or benches to sit on.  

So I met him at his house and we gradually made our way over to Concrete Street.  As we were walking up to the ticket booth we could hear the 1st of the 2 opening bands playing.  As it turned out, the guy in the booth was an old friend of mine with whom I used to work several years ago.  Its always cool to see old friends in unexpected places.  

It wasn't too crowded.  Plenty of room to move around.  After a little grub, John and I downed our first Guinness then made our way closer to the stage.  We caught the tail end of the band and were impressed when they were breaking down their own equipment (instead of roadies).

Shortly thereafter, we bumped into a mutual friend.  That was unexpected and refreshing.  It kind of makes you think that other people have lives too!   Go figure!   haha

I even ran into another one of my coworkers from my previous job.  That was a little more of a surprise, and another one of those moments that reminds me I need to get out a little more.  Who knows, I might actually meet people!  What a concept!

Anyway...

The second band was a pleasant surprise.  Too bad I don't recall their names right now.  

Then Dropkick came out and the crowd went nuts!  I see why!  It took me a little while to warm up, but after a couple beverages and a cigar, I was warm.  John didn't need as long to start getting into the spirit of the event.   He was bouncing around to the beat long before I was done with my cigar.  

About half way through the show I finally got into it.  So much fun!  I'm not much of a dancer, but bouncing up and down is easy.  The next thing I know, my feet started kicking out as if I was dancing a reel or a jig.  I really didn't know what I was doing... other than just having a good time and dancing.  By the end of the concert John, some others, & I were swinging around each other by the elbows, kind of like the old square dances we had to learn in second grade.  

What a blast!!  Boy, am I glad he called!

Here's a taste of Dropkick Murphys.

Be well

R - E - S - P - E - C - T

I woke up with a thought this morning. Actually, I wake up with a thought every morning. But today's thought wasn't my usual "I wonder how long I can lay here before having to go to the bathroom."

This morning I was thinking about respect. So here is my question...

Would you rather be respected or liked? That is assuming you had to choose. And why do you think that?

I was ready for a lengthy discourse on the difference between the two, but as I sat down to write this post the answer(s) came to me.

So, my friends... this is a a short post. Now raise your hands and cheer like a 9th grader that found out he won't have homework for the weekend. (the sad thing is that someone will)
(that sadder thing is that I think I know who) :-)

I will let you chew on that that for a while. I'll post my answer later. I want to see if anyone thinks along the same lines as I do.

See ya soon!

Be well

Is idiocy subjective?

I recently found out that I might be an idiot. But the jury is still out on that.
Who knew?
Wait... don't answer that. :-)

I spend so much time introspecting, that apparently I don't see things around me very well. (exospecting..???) But I'm not entirely convinced. I turn the scope inward quite regularly, but I guess I am poorly adept at looking at my environs.

Here's the question..... Would you want to know if you were an idiot?
Just when I think I have a handle on things, someone comes along to tell me that I was holding the wrong handle. (sigh)

I have always done pretty well at assessing people and situations. That is, as long as I'm not in the picture. Score one for objectivity.

This issue fits in with what I call my "Frame Theory".
We go through life looking at our world through a particular framework. Things within the frame are focused and clear. This is our world. Think of this frame as our relative world. This is what is relative to us. We develop our opinions and judgements about the world within this frame. We have to. Our brain is designed to allow us to function efficiently within this frame.

As we approach the edges, things get fuzzy. The lines become blurred. Our experiences determine how broad our frame is. But when we encounter something that isn't "usual" its classified as "outside" our frame. Since it is outside our frame, we do one of two things....
try to make it fit... or disregard it. It becomes peripheral junk. Kind of like all the garbage orbiting the Earth. It there... but we don't pay much mind to it... that is until a piece of it comes hurtling toward us at 22,000 mph.

Then we have to acknowledge it. And that requires effort. That effort requires energy. That energy has to come from somewhere, therefore it is taxing on our mental resources. Follow me so far?

So.... our response to the "peripheral junk" depends entirely upon what we already have within the framework. So we consciously or unconsciously apply familiar experiences to this peripheral material. That is us trying to make things fit. When that doesn't work... meaning... when we still can't make sense of it... we discard it. But we can't always do that. So this is when we are hit with anxiety.

Now, anxiety isn't always a bad thing. It kind of forces us to deal with the offending new material. Until it gets resolved, that is, until we can make sense of it, we will continue to have anxiety about it. Anxiety can be quiet and calm, but it is merely a term to describe a sense of mental discomfort. When it becomes more serious, physical manifestations can occur.

This whole process has a name... in Social Psychology its called "Cognitive Dissonance". Everyone deals with it on a daily basis, and we make small adjustments to our frames. These adjustments are called "experience".

With all that said..... I'm at the fuzzy edge right now. I'm having to reevaluate the world just outside my frame. Damn.... and I was doing pretty well for quite a while.

As a result.... the conclusion to this exploration is as of yet undetermined.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see. :-)

Be well.

Kharma... what a wonderful bitch you are. I respect you.

Y'all ready for this?
I'm having some issues. I know I'm gonna piss some people off, but damn it to hell... I'm gonna speak my piece!
I'll begin with something on the lighter side, but it kind of sets the tone. Its actually quite funny, but you'll get the connection shortly.

One of my favorite (yes, another one. But this one is currently airing) :-) TV shows is The Big Bang Theory. There is a scene from one of the earlier episodes where Sheldon (tall guy) and Leonard (glasses) are moving a heavy box up a flight of stairs. Well, as expected, gravity plays a roll. Here.... just take a look for yourself...




Just goes to show that some laws can't be broken.
Hence, my connection to Kharma here.

There are a myriad of quotes & expressions pertaining to the universal idea of kharma; e.g.
"We reap what we sow."
"What goes around comes around."
"We reap the fruits of our labor."
"Life's a bitch, then you marry one." (kidding... just had to throw it out there)

You get the idea.

Well, I'm feeling vexed about some recent developments. This is where my tenacity for honesty gets me in trouble, which in turn, leads me question what a civilization's expectations are of its residents. Big stuff, huh? Yeah, well... check out my flow....

Ok... here's the deal.
One of my best friends had a good friend of hers in Iraq. A couple months ago my friend calls me up laughing her ass off and she wanted to share something very funny with me. So she goes on to explain that her friend in Iraq posted a picture on a myspace page... or he emailed it to her... something to that effect.... of him standing next to a local person holding a sign. They were both smiling for the camera. Now my memory is a little foggy on this detail, but the sign apparently read something to the effect of "When I'm not killing Americans I'm f&#*ing camels."
So this was deemed as hilarious by the American soldier in the picture and his buddies. Apparently so hilarious my friend had to call me right away to tell me about it.

I wasn't amused. I got mad. And my friend wasn't laughing much longer. I'm sorry about that but was it wrong NOT to laugh along. I basically told my friend how appalling that is and how UNcool it is to make a mockery of someones culture. I was pissed. I wasn't about to laugh along giving my friend the idea that it was acceptable, even funny, to do that. The Abu Ghraib prison incident comes to mind here.

A few days later my good friend called me back to say that after thinking about it she decided that it really wasn't funny after all. Ok, then... that was done.

Well, about a week ago her friends company was ambushed & he got shot up pretty bad. The story is that he took numerous bullets to the leg and torso. He was medevaced out to a hospital where the painstaking process of multiple surgeries commenced. After several surgeries he was still in critical condition. My friend called me every day or every other day with updates. All I could really tell her that each day he survives, the better the odds become for him to recover.

I don't know how to appease a person's grief. Grief is something each person has to work through. She was particularly anxious because of the worry. She didn't know if he would survive to the next day. I don't envy her pain. But there wasn't much I could do about it either.

A couple days ago she called again with another update. He died. The damage was just too extensive. He survived about a week but ultimately, the wounds took him. People were saying that the reason he survived as long as he did was because he was very healthy and fit. So he died a soldiers death. And I feel nothing for him. Of course, here someone will take my words out of context to paint me as a villian. Go ahead, if that is what you need to do to feel less guilty about something else yourself, go ahead.

Hence my state. My friend called to tell me about his death, and I offered neutral responses in return. I just can't get myself to pretend to be something I'm not, or feel something I don't. This is the part where I'm sure people are going to be mad at me. Oh well.... such is life.
After talking a while my friend said to me sarcastically, "Thanks for the support."
And I told her the truth. I never liked the guy from what she told me about him. I'm sad for her loss of a friend (Which is genuine and true. I am sad for her loss.) But I won't grieve with her, nor will I pretend to. I never knew the guy. I truly felt (feel) nothing. So I guess that makes me a real SOB.

Here is where I get to the question part.... What does a civilization expect from its residents?

Am I expected to squeeze out a couple of tears on behalf of my friend? Am I supposed to behave as though humans are a dwindling population and that's one closer to extinction?
Am I expected to focus the next week of my life on her well being?

Somebody tell me. Tell me why I should be or do something that I am not?

You know.... I may be damned for saying this, but I am convinced that other people think the same stuff but practice more social etiquette than I do, therefore won't say anything. As far as I'm concerned, those people have no balls. (figuratively speaking, of course).

We expend so much effort on coddling people and enabling their dysfunctions, that we risk damage to ourselves in the process.

With that said... there are times when people really do need that kind of support. And when it's time for that I will be there. But here is my gripe (Well, one of them)...
We have cultivated such a nurture-craving society. It starts young. A kid falls and scrapes his knee.... Mom rushes over scoops the crying kid and begins this process of ritualistic pampering. Holy Crap people... its a scrape! Or a kid complains that another kid in class is calling them names. Mom & Dad go the principal and demand that child be reprimanded or they threaten legal action. Puuhhllleeeaaaaaase. Its elementary school!

So we start the "wah" training pretty young.

But it doesn't stop there. It carries over into adulthood.
A guy isn't happy with his life. He goes to a doctor and complains about this and that. Doc says he's depressed. Guy goes to Uncle Sam and says he can't work. Uncle Sam gives him free food and a check every month. (Don't even get me started on this one.)

Now... There are many of you that don't do this. Kuddos! Keep it up. We need more people to be more abrasive. We need to teach our kids to be "tough". We need buffalo skin. I have noticed a bit of a movement toward this. This is not only a good thing, but also necessary.

But all this goes back to my friend... was I wrong? Maybe so. The point was that she needed support from me as her friend. I certainly see and understand that. Now here is another question... its a biggie...... Is it fair to expect me to be something that I'm not so I can console another?

That is where I'm vexed. I'm not minimizing my friends grief. Not at all. My contention is with the expectations placed upon me in this situation.
I had a friend once. (Yes.... just once) hehe..... anyway.... he and I were close. He was one of my best friends. After college we went separate ways. Over time I realized that he was an asshole. But my desire to have a fun friend at the time presided over my rationale. Besides, I wasn't nearly as judgemental then . If something had happened to him then, I think I would have grieved. But today is different. His wife (who was his girlfriend in college.... whom he cheated on routinely) called me (out of the blue) a couple years ago. She was setting up a surprise birthday party for him and wanted me to go. She thought it would be cool to assemble his closest college buddies for a "real" surprise. Well, it would have been that. At first I said I had a lot to do and wasn't interested. (Lie) I didn't have a lot to do. (Truth) I wasn't interested. So I used a lie to coddle her a little bit. But she persisted. Then I told her more truth.... that I really didn't care for him and would rather have no association with him ever again. She was silent. She said she had no idea. Well, of course you didn't, I said. How could she. She said it saddened her and that she was disappointed especially since we were so close in college. Yes, I know. "Were" being the operative term. But I still did some coddling anyway.... I didn't tell her that he had a separate girlfriend in college for about 2 whole years while she was still at home. (They have no clue about this blog so the secret is still safe) I realize that could have been rather damaging to their relationship, esp. so many years into their marriage. But my point here that I was so indifferent that I really didn't care either way. So I remained truthfully neutral. I didn't speak ill of him, I just said we sent separate ways and that part of my life is history.

About a year ago I got a call from him. I don't remember what prompted the call. But I got home to a message from him on my answering machine. I listened to it about 4 or 5 times trying to listen to his voice... things in the background.... clues as to where he was. Was he visiting his parents in Portland and that is why he called, or was it just random.... that sort of thing. I listened to it again before deleting it. I never considered calling him.

So what's the point to all this? Well, I avoided a whole lot awkward discomfort by never calling. I think that I was expected to at least call. I think that social convention here would dictate to reciprocate the call and say "hi"... or whatever. It would be "courteous & considerate". OK... courteous and considerate to what...??? I ask. Toward my old college friend? But I no longer care for him, so why should I be courteous and considerate? I am completely indifferent.

If I had called, I would have had to be honest and just say, "I have no feelings for you so I want nothing to do with you." Because I refuse to reinforce what I consider a flawed social convention in the first place.

So going back to my friend who is grieving the loss of a friend, what would you do? What do our mores dictate is appropriate here?

I am sad for my friend's pain. But I am not sad for her friend. I feel for the soldiers around him. I know the soldiers bond is unique and tight. I respect the person who fights for what he believes. So I am sad for his comrades. I may have never been a soldier, but I am a product of a soldier's family. (Check out my blog posts from July 2008.) So I understand a little.

This stretch of road is a little bumpier on this journey of mine. I really am not surprised why I spend most of my evenings & weekends alone. I am a rather disagreeable person. Very few people "get" me. And because I refuse to play along with the social games, I don't really fit in with the common culture. This helps explain why I'm 40 and have never been married. If I give my friends this hard of a time, can you imagine what my wife would have to put up with?
No thanks... I might be a decent fellow overall, but I wouldn 't marry me.

Stay safe & be well!